this is probably really overdue. valentine's day was like a week ago. but went to catch valentine's day with 6d classmates today as a super last min outing after house visiting. went with wensi yushan puayhian dunjie zhiyong ruiyuan.

hmm i'm not going to elaborate anything abt the movie. the plot is so complicated (there are 5 storylines intertwined in the movie), so i shan't bother with that. though wensi is right to say that this is all just fictional, and probably presents all the ideal relationships, and real-life relationships never go that way anyway, but somehow i just can't help but feel a twitch in the heart.

hmm mebbe i'm starting to really grow up liao lol. i probably hardly ever given relationships any thought at all. i guess it's probably due to my self-esteem (low obviously), which comes from quite a number of reasons la, mostly physical appearances i should think. haha it's something no one can run away from, no matter how good it may sound that "looks don't matter, what matters comes from within the heart". so that, coupled with the fact that no one has ever expressed anything at all, it's kinda no wonder i'm still what i am today. single. haha.

er im not despo hor, seriously. and im not trying to be emo here. it's just... something that came to mind after various events that happened to friends around me, and the movie was kinda the final straw. of cos, not every relationship is all lovey-dovey, but from the steady relationships, to the occasional quarrels, louis vuitton handbags to the huge break-up rows, to even the pure simple crushes on ppl, some of these around me have kinda reminded me time and again, shouldn't i be giving this some thought?

i guess different people just have different ways of life. some ppl just get attached to one after another, and break-ups never daunt them. some ppl get quite badly hurt after one bad relationship, then takes a very ong time to heal before they are willing to accept anyone else again. some ppl have high expectations, and therefore it's hard for them to find anyone they deem fit. some ppl try and try to no avail, and it's somehow just hard to find anyone at all. and some ppl, just live their life as though relationships aren't existent, and live happily just having friends and family. they are the ones who think they got everything under control and finding the other half is of no significant importance to them. or so they pretend.

and of cos, some ppl get attached and they know that they have found their partner for life.

somehow i just seem to blind myself from that possible outcome lol. always falling into the category of pretending not to care and never really bother to go look for one, cos i think deep down i'm truly afraid i'll end up being the group who try and try and nothing will ever work out. i guess it's a way of shielding myself from possible damage, by just not involving myself in any relationships at all. it's kind of similar to a porcupine, or a tortoise, when i just hide under my spikes and in my shell, not willing to reach out to anyone that i may like at all.

lol this is getting mushy. i prob never wrote anything like this before. cos i've been trying to avoid. and i also dunno where i'm going with this post. it's prob just to serve as a reminder that, relationships do play a big part in my life, and is something that cannot be neglected. unless i decide to stay single for my whole life and die a lonely man lol. ok la it's kinda way too early to start saying all this rubbish.

but still. perhaps it's time to shed off that layer of spikes and come out from my shell already.

there are tons of events that happen that are probably a lot more significant and important than this, but i feel i just had to blog it. sorry for letting that previous emo post hang there as the current post for so long, i've grown out of that shortly after ever since i attended a course my bro and sis both went for and asked me to go. due to time constraints i probably cant continue, due to meet joel tong (yay fellow TIP intern) in an hour plus...

i just discovered that running in the rain can be so therapeutic.

ok i know it's probably damn random, but i just had to say it. went for a jog just now, after feeling super guilty for the cny goodies intake, and good positive motivation from weekian and weechern (amazingly both wee! lol). was quite pissed off by the current roadworks on the bukit timah mrt line which will not exactly really benefit me since i'm like stuck in the middle of 2 mrt stations, which are both not that within walking distance (talk about bad luck and bad location of residence), as it had disrupted my running route more than once. so decided to chiong and do a u-turn after coming to the roadblock, resulting in a longer distance than usual. (ok la, i've done two full rounds before when i was still fitter, so it's "supposed" to be do-able.)

so during the u-turn, well no prizes for this, it started to drizzle. and the weather is still damn hot. now plus humid. even worse. then run some more. then rain more heavily. then run some more. then DOWNPOURRRRR. like seriously. i dont think i was ever caught in a downpour, cos i usually always have an umbrella with me. so this kinda like a first. and i'm like super tired already,louis vuitton handbags having ran more than what i intended to, and it's after a longgggg hiatus (i had a really packed schedule, so havent run for damn long). so i was mega dulan. like frigging angry. and frustrated. and thinking, for crying out loud, how suay can i get. there were totally no signs it was going to rain la can.

then came the sense of helplessness, fatigue and despair. (okok im exaggerating this lol.) i was like, "omg there's still so long more to go before i reach back to my estate..." and there's a omg-ly steep slope right at the entrance of my estate >.< well i dunno what came over me after that, but after seeing how other ppl also chiong to their destinations despite the rain, and not like hiding at the nearest bus stops or wad, my mindset changed. i began to feel a weird sense of empowerment. like suddenly i tell myself i can do it. so i just chionged. and i can tell u, distance doesnt matter loh seriously. the distance i ran may not be very far, but when one chiongs ah, it's seriously damn tiring. LIKE SERIOUSLY. my legs feel like jelly now. esp cos most of the last part of the route was downslope. (i was counting on that to give myself an excuse to walk the last stretch la. in the end... >.<)

but even though my legs are damn chui now, there's this sense of satisfaction i cant describe within me. ok la, it's really quite stupid come to think of it haha. but somehow i just felt happy i managed to finish wad i set out to do. you know, like with this fighting spirit and determination within u, u will just get to ur destination. this is actually very similar to what i learnt during the basic course, where intention is all you need to achive the results that you want, and mechanisms are really really minor when compared to intention. obstacles become an excuse and justification for you not to work for your goals, and in the end one will just forever stay in his comfort zone, not willing to step out and take a risk to do something different. i dunno if i will fall sick after this (wasn't really too well already, since i got quite heaty after all the cny goodies), but for now, i'll have no regrets loh. and this is what is important. the sense of fulfillment and achieving one's aims.

that voice in you to break through all obstacles, knowing your destination is just right ahead within reach.

uh this may sound totally retarded to certain ppl, well mainly cos i dunno how exactly to express how i felt in words. but i don't really care what ppl think anymore. as long as for me, i think that the lessons i've gained from this seemingly trivial matter feels invaluable to me. that's all that matters. just wanted to share la, if anyone who reads this can roughly understand wad i mean, great, if not, just ignore the post bah...

ok im like running late. need to get stuck in the peak hour traffic too. hope to find some time to properly sit down and blog abt the numerous things that happened in the past month. it's been a really crazy month. new friends, new discoveries about myself, new attitudes towards life, new determination to achieve the results i want, new closer forged friendships, new enlightenment about many many things in life. i think my basic course friends and ppl like hanzong, bernard and ruiyuan will probably understand what i mean...

lastly, just wanted to say to everyone, albeit quite belated haha. happy chinese NEW year!

it's a brand new beginning.

hmm typing this on a cooling night, after a gd chat with ruiyuan on various issues here and there. cup of water on the desk next to me. earphones on, playing the current blog song (because i'm stupid by kim hyun joong, from BoF. yes im very outdated i know, but better later than never right). everyone else at home is asleep. i guess it's a gd time to take a while to write this post, sort of to reflect abt the past 2 wks, and the future and all, after being inspired by the chat.

yes. emo-time lol. though actually i also dunno why i'm emo-ing. just feeling... that doing some reflection is timely now?

these 2 weeks, i'll say, have been eventful and routine at the same time. well i can probably list a lot of things i've done over the past 2 wks, like going back to hwachong for the induction programme as well as the annual staff meeting and having the mega awkward moment of saying hi to your ex-teachers who are going to be your temporary colleagues >.< as well as the 3 day teaching internship workshop which i got to make quite a few friends, fellow jc interns. which is probably one of the very important and good things that i took away from the 3 days at NUS. i can also talk about the ice cream making session i went with junzhi over at tom's palette, and how i attempted to try it out with hanzong and bok on monday at hz's house (horlicks icecream), alongside justin's painstakingly typed out pasta + meatballs recipe on his website, without him being around to help. or about catching up with yongbiao, kevin, ber and jinhui on wed night at amk over dinner and they're probably going hound me for not uploading the photos yet lol. (yup gd point, i better upload them soon.) or even abt going for lu guang zhong's concert with ruiyuan just now and enjoying his very good live vocals and stage presence over at dragonfly, st. james. (btw he was really good. and he quite successfully drawn the audience's attention and memories of the gig i think.)

hmm seems quite happening right. actually i had a pretty good time being part of all these myself. but i guess i'm just not really in the mood to go into too much details abt them la. mind's more preoccupied with stuff that i don't even know wad it is. weird feeling, but i think everyone has their moments too. like u just feel serious and reflective all of a sudden, and all the things that u've been a part of or happened to u (the tangible stuff) now seems less important than the feelings and thoughts u've gained from them (the intangible stuff). but, being the intangible things they are, sometimes u can't really grasp them all.

the 3 day workshop was quite fun, and im really glad i made quite a few friends from it. i hope when my own internship begins end of the mth, we all can find some time to come together and have a good time sharing our experiences. and im really glad to have met my old neighbour back at my old amk house, whom i havent been in contact since pri 5. that's like... 9 years? wow. and what a small world. but i'm really glad this internship has gotten us back in contact, and hope it can stay that way, yee wee haha. another pleasant surprise was to see bokai, my pri sch schoolmate and we had quite a lot of fun being on the same school bus. louis vuitton handbags although we've met a couple of times over the years, but being in different schools and all, it was really quite hard to keep in contact. but i'm glad this internship helped to allow us to stay in touch too. so i would say those 3 days have been a good time, making new friends and reminiscing with the old lol.

going back to hwachong, as i said, is a really weird experience. mon's induction was still ok as it was more of meeting the key personnel (principals and deputy principals and deans and directors), who of cos dunno me, being the average joe i was in school. fri was a lot more awkward lol. esp during breakfast and lunch, when the interns had to queue with all the teachers, high school and jc side alike, for the food. so it's really kinda weird when u meet your ex-teachers, and the idea that they are going to be your colleagues for the next 3 months creeps in. sort of gets you to mutter "omg" in your mind. but i guess it just needs some time to get used to and hopefully a couple of weeks into the internship i'll be comfortable with it. (but firstly, it must start! been waiting and waiting la. not that i'm SUPER eager to teach, but it's more of like, it's really damn long. thankfully now i got stuff to pass time with.)

going for the icecream making session with junzhi was, i think, quite a significant thing for me. cos of our busy schedules, haven't been meeting him for quite some time, so this was a good time for us to catch up. i hope both of us won't be too caught up in our work and can arrange a meeting with kenny as well sometime in the future. haha my good bmt buddies. will never forget those times... also, it was quite interesting in itself, since i belong to the category of only know how to eat but dunno how to make/cook/bake/wadeva. i shan't go into details, though i feel it was a good time for me to do some hands-on ever since my baking attempt, which was quite long ago le. i should think of something else to make and not let this wish to learn to bake become some passing fad, some short phase in my life. it's a useful skill and i hope i can persevere to the end loh. monday's cookout at hz's house was a good chance to test our results, and i must say i'm pretty pleased with wad we came out, despite the divine intervention by justin the chef. but really hor, i cant imagine 1 person cooking. we had already enough on our hands when we had 3 ppl (hz me bok). if i were to cook alone, i prob take like 5 hours to come out with a meal mebbe >.<

talking abt learning stuff, i feel like i'm always interested in certain stuff but it doesn't last. which is really bad. i dont want to have just passing fads, but want to develop them as useful skills i can apply in future. ok la, dj teaching me piano is really just casual learning of a few songs here and there, plus he got such a busy schedule anyway, so i also wont be able to have constant progress to be sufficiently good in it. but stuff like languages (like jap), though they are seemingly useless, but can be quite good-to-knows loh. haven't really considered abt taking it properly as a course and have weekly lessons, but i'm quite determined to not let wadeva i learnt over the past few mths in army go to waste. being able to speak one more language, no matter how irrelevant or seemingly unimportant, will definitely have its uses at some point of time de la. that's wad i believe in anyway. and lastly, being able to prepare simple dishes or bake simple cookies. that'll be something i'll never want to let go of. i think what i need is some encouragement? and motivation to really do it. cos after the not so good experience with my family members regarding the previous random urge baking session, i dunno exactly how supportive they are. i feel all i need is just some encouragement from them for me to be able to pick it up so much faster loh. it's like how jandi's family work together to prepare kimchi in ep 9 of BoF. i feel it's like a very nice warm family feeling, if a family can come together to bake something simple, like cookies or brownies, or prepare a meal. but of cos, i know, that's all rather idealistic thinking la. i do hope something of even the slightest degree of that can happen though. haven't really felt the nice fuzzy family feeling ever since we got back from vietnam. i guess during then, we were like "stuck together", so we tended to interact and bond more. but now, back in sg, we are all back to leading our own individual, independent lives. there just isn't that nice come-together feel anymore. i wonder when i can have that back again?

i agree with ruiyuan that vivo rooftop is really quite a nice place to have a gd chat for 2, fun interactions between a large group, with games and loads of laughter etc, and a really gd spot for one to be alone for a while and run things thru his mind. more simply put, to emo lol. it's tested and proven by me. been there, done it. so for anyone who wanna find a gd place to emo, it's quite a nice place. the whole dim lighting, cool night breeze, random screenshots of different ppl, from families to couples to friends to probably just a bunch of acquaintances there for some icebreakers, looking at different sights can get u to think about a lot of things. and when u are tired of looking around, can just gaze upon sentosa, or the port, and the numerous lights there portraying a stark contrast to the dimmer surroundings u have around you somehow will have a soothing effect on you. and u can think thru a lot of things. he suggested marina barrage too, but that's a whole load more inaccessible. mebbe when i become more confident abt my driving to do it alone, then i prob take an evening or night drive there bah.

took up some volunteer work for northwest cdc, where my mum works, at various ccs spread across the nw region of singapore. got bok to go along with me, so i wont feel so alone haha. i guess it's a good way for me to pass the time prior to my internship, and volunteer work is always good. i haven't really helped out in community events for quite a long time, ever since my service-learning days in sec 4, and a short stint of ocip back in j1. been meaning to do something ever since, but i kept gaving myself the excuse of army, and stay-in, so wkends not sufficient to do anything. now that excuse is no longer valid, so i guess it's time i should do something abt what i promised myself back then. anyway only been at it for 2 days, and will only work for 1 wk more till my internship starts, so it's very short actually. haven't really gotten to talk to many of the volunteers, but hope as well can make some friends, since our ages aren't that far apart. there are slightly older volunteers as well, so i would say we got ppl from various walks of life ba.

the reason why i mentioned this is cos somehow looking at some of the ppl i met, regardless of coordinators, volunteers, or the actual ppl we are assisting, it got me thinking quite a bit. more of how i envy certain ppl for their ability to connect with the general public and community, and reflecting on how i react or portray myself when involving myself in the job. i think it's inevitable, many if not most of us do carry different personas within us. i don't mean like split personality disorder or something, but more of different behaviours and manners one will adopt in different situations. all these different behaviours are in full control by the person de. at least i feel i have a need to, putting on "different masks" quoting miss peck, my facilitator during the 3 day moe course. i'm sure wensi agrees with me too, cos we've briefly discussed this before. but anyway, seeing how good some of the volunteers are when dealing with strangers, as well as remembering the various styles ppl adopted during the course when they had to go to the front of the class to present or teach something, kinda made me think if there's a need to think over what kind of me i wanna portray when i start my internship.

i know many ppl will probably just say, "just be yourself! why must act like someone else!" but this is a very idealistic way of thinking loh. even if i wanted to just "be myself", i think some change in my personality is in order here. the 20 year-old me has offended quite a lot of ppl in the past, when i was someone who didnt dare to criticise ppl for any flaws they might have, was over-sensitive abt how ppl looked at me and felt upset and very hurt whenever anything negative was being said abt me. someone who was always eager to please ppl, like some lackey, in the end not more than once being labelled a hypocrite. yes hyprocrite. how i hated that word when i first heard it, but i guess i grew numb after hearing it more than once. or twice. or... nvm. basically i was just this coward who liked to hide in my own shell, always trying to round any sharp edges that might hurt others, with the shell getting broken very easily and taking quite some time to mend.

damn i'm being really brutally honest with myself here.

this kind of personality will probably not be able to withstand any hard blows at all, be it in the upcoming internship, or future in uni, or even in society in future loh. how can i not wear a mask to hide all this ugliness. yeah, i should change. but how long does one take before he can transform into someone new? old habits die hard. similarly, old personas are really hard to change. so this whole circumstance has really really got me thinking. well i can't gurantee success, i'll probably be as cowardly and hypocritical as i used to be, but i'm determined to change. and not going to let myself be bullied into reverting back to my old self, my comfortable self. it's time to step out of the comfort zone and embrace new challenges. so i'm hoping that this internship will let me take away not just a whole load of experiences, but a new me as well. i won't want my students to think what a weak and nice to bully teacher they had.

ppl who really like me for who i am, thank you very much, i'm really grateful, and i hope with your support i can steadily head towards my goal. ppl who give up on me cos of the flaws i used to have and refuse to give me a second chance, well, all i have to say is sorry i've wasted your time for the past years being ur friend, and regrettably i'm just that unacceptable in ur eyes loh. mebbe our personalities just don't match and we are prob not meant to be gd friends to begin with, but just keep trying to force ourselves upon this friendship. there's a lot of interesting contrast when you have friends whom u havent met for years and when u all meet again, u all still can have that link and chat abt mostly everything u all got in common. and when some friends you can feel the drifting apart because of new environment, new friends, well even if u force upon urself to meet every few months or even every few weeks, the nice cosy friendship feeling is just not there. this thing abt friendships, should be a very close and mutual thing, but things are just not right when u all get together just because everyone happens to be free. or only on special occasions. if two ppl are friends, there shouldnt be anything forced. and they shouldnt take like last priority. i've been on both ends of the stick before, so i understand how sad one is on the giving end, always trying to make things work, not being appreciated or regarded, and how lousy and bastard one feels, knowing that he hasn't been keeping in contact with a friend and didn't make a point to arrange another a meetup when something cropped up.

i think i'm horrible at staying on point. digressing until liddat. i guess writing posts on emo-moods makes the post very different. maybe i'm drunk from the gin tonic i had at st. james just now, so i'm typing all this rubbish. i'll prob take this off once i come to my senses, mebbe tml morning after i wake up.

argh i hate myself. emoooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

haha it's been more than a week since i came back to this "hot sunny island of singapore". weather has been mega sian man! keep raining raining raining everyday.. anyway, here's wishing everyone a belated merry christmas! hope everyone had fun during this festive season.

this week since i came back had been, activity-packed i would say (which is good). that also means that it is a very costly week (which is badddddd. like really really baddddd). i'm getting horribly poor, with high expenditure and no income. omg lahhh. furthermore ill have to live with this for another month more before my internship starts. seriously need to watch my spending.

sat met up with ber nicholas justin foo bok jeremy to catch avatar at plaza sing. the graphics are really cool, the scenery is really nice, which more than make up for the storyline which seems slightly plain in comparison. overall i like it. sun, cos promised kevin le, so went to catch bodyguards and assassins with kevin ber grant yongbiao satan. hmm, the meaning behind the story is strong, i feel like i learnt something new abt the rise of democracy in china and stuff. the action also quite good la i should think, one of the better hk action films set in the early 1900s. the behind half did keep my attention centred on the show, so i guess i was captivated by the action once the main part of the story began. overall nt bad too! well i guess it was a gd time to catch up with some platoonmates and specs after ord =)

mon went out with samuel to celebrate my bdae. oh regarding that, would like to thank everyone who wished me happy bdae thru any means, from face-to-face to over-the-phone to sms to msn to facebook wall post. really appreciate it! feel blessed to have friends around haha. anyway, went to try out this place at mandarin gallery, wild honey. nice decor and friendly service, just that food is slightly on the ex side, louis vuitton handbags and no menus are available, have to order at the counter. got this cool itouch which has the photos for u to scroll thru though, which is quite a nice hi-tech touch to the otherwise rather quaint looking cafe/restaurant. btw, it's famous for its tagline: serving breakfasts from all over the world, all-day! which was why samuel chose to bring me there in the first place. sam had scandinavian, which consisted of grilled salmon (nice smokey taste), asparagus (i quite like this veg haha), on a bed of rosti (wad can ever go wrong with pan-fried potato =D). i picked the new york one, with tomatoes, scrambled eggs and sturgeon (yum!), as well as bagel with cream cheese (the bagel is SERIOUSLY fresh and good. i love it haha). oh yea, shared a fruit blend of raspberries, banana and mandarin orange juice with honey. guess i dont need to describe the taste, u prob can imagine how good it is lol.

played bishibashi and photohunt and jubeat and mariokart etcetc at plaza sing before deciding to stop by somewhere to have a chat. went to max brenner's over at esplanade. havent been there for a really long time! i had the whipped granite dark choc, which was wad we ordered b4, while sam took an italian hot choc, which turned out to be surprisingly good! seriously the choc is so rich that u can just finish the drink by dipping ur spoon it, taking it out and then just licking the spoon! lol. ok that sounded a bit gross >.< but basically it's just damn good yeah. went shopping for some clothes at marina square before i chose timbre for our dinner spot. cos kinda missed the roast duck pizza which i last had at timbre arts house with mortar guys. sam ordered some drink with graprefuit juice and 7-up, while i had something with orange and mint leaves. he didnt really like mint, but for someone who does (like me), i seriously like it! haha. i prob dont need to describe the pizza, tons of ppl have eaten it b4 to know how good it is lol. ok this is seriously turning out to be some food blog post, which i dont intend to make it sound liddat. but basically we just ate and drank the whole day through la (gained dunno how many kg rofl). had a chat on the bus ride back home and cut the cake my mum bought for me haha. yup that concludes my bdae le. by eating and drinking non-stop >.< lol. tue went top one ktv (2nd time this mth lol) with foo and his 2 friends. omg lahs. foo seriously has some imba friends. i wont say much, but basically it was an EYE-OPENER. kinda makes me think again whether i actually sound decent >.< really cool experience. hoping that foo will invite them again haha. learnt a lot too! so shall try out some changes next few times i go ktv... xmas eve went justin's house for yet another baking session! haha i always enjoy all the baking sessions, cos i find them really meaningful, u get to spend the day fruitfully, and have end products to bring home! also another great time to catch up with platoon guys =) anyway had justin (duh of cos lol), junhong, samuel, ber, bok, kevin, hanzong around. made pizzas for lunch and baked apple pies and chocolate cookies! had quite a bit of trouble with the seafood pizza, cos we happened to get live prawns, thinking that they'll probably be really fresh, before realising that we gotta be the ones who make them appear beheaded and de-shelled on the pizza dough >.< so it was a tough decision before we went ahead with the deed. urgh, still gimme the shivers thinking abt it. thankfully i was chopping up the capsicums, so i didnt get to handle the prawns. but the comments from ber and justin were bad enough, saying how the body continues to twitch after it has been beheaded and while they were trying to deshell it. euurrghh. but well, it was a fun day nevertheless! at night went over to qiquan's grandma's house for CO xmas bbq. though the turnout rate wasnt too good, but still got to see quite a no. of hcco peeps! havent seen them for really really long lahhhh. so it was a great time to catch up with them all haha. hoping will see them again next yr if there's any tuan yuan fan bah.. cos missed out on the chance to see a lot others who couldnt make it. had some fun smoking up the whole area with the sparklers hahaha. that seriously had to be the most air polluting box of sparklers i've ever seen lol. it was like PSI 1000 hahaha. xmas day itself, surprisingly, was quite stay-at-home-y. went out with the morning with kevin and bok to samuel's church over at admiralty to attend xmas service. cos samuel was like asking us when we were at justin's house. i had a horrible experience before, so i was quite apprehensive. but it turned out to be quite alright lah. the play they put up was really pretty good. good cast, decent props, thus there's not much need for a lot of lighting and sound effects, also can put up a really good play. i enjoyed watching it haha. after that went for lunch at northpoint b4 getting ingredients for my first baking experience at home, while they went to catch sherlock holmes. hmm decided to try out the cookies using the recipe justin followed on xmas eve at his place, cos choco cookies always taste good haha. uh the end results was >.< though. i dunno is cos the cookie too big, or never bake enough, but they turned out quite crumbly... to me they taste ok though, however thats prob just me trying to console myself =.= sadded. but still, shall not give up, im determined to incorporate more of these baking sessions to improve on it and pick it up as a hobby! cos i really enjoy the times i baked at justin's house, but the higher level stuff (like the blackforest cake omg), is really tough sia.. nvm shall aim to improve with prac. my family doesnt really support me though, i got a little pissed off when i was getting ingredients, cos i called home to ask if there's stuff i might not need to get, then they got irritated with me somehow. so in the end i got so pissed i went to buy something which i dont even think is a sift. waste my 9bucks. nvm at least later my dad did help me with the cookie baking, which was good, cos i prob wont know how to start the oven in the first place (yes i'm that noob!). so well, alls well ended well i guess. wait till i decide to bake again to get another earful from my parents ("you think this very fun is it? make a mess of the dining table and the kitchen, then still got so much stuff to clear up? why bother with all the trouble! why want to make ur own! just buy if u really want to give cookies to ur friends lah!"). seems like i dont have the most encouraging parents in the world eh? but nvm, ill persevere! (so pls say my cookies are nice if u all get to eat it! lol. just kidding la, be honest abt it.) hmm so today overslept for tuition >.< my alarm clock is dying on me la. dunno why never ring de loh zzz. anyway met dj and ruiyuan at somerset for gift shopping. bought some quite nice stuff that im hoping ill get it myself! lol. though the chances are like... low? lol. wah seriously shopped damn long lahhhh. took mrt from 313 somerset to orchard, then went ion to taka to paragon to john little to robinsons to plaza sing g2000. my feet took a serious toll man. lol. was so glad when i finally sat down for dinner la! anyway had my first meal at xing wang after becoming a member lolol. hmm the baked rice nt bad, wont mind ordering again lol. so in the end, on top of my gift, got another business shirt to add to my collection for next yr's use. sian lah, now need to like free up this space for all these kinda formal stuff liao, unless i wanna repeat the same few shirts and pants for the next 7 weeks.. urgh sian. that means more money flying awayyyyyyy. i think i dont really have to explain why im broke now yeah? seriously need to watch my expenditure liao. as in SERIOUSLYYYYYYYY. oh did i mention im going to spend a bomb on the new non-army phone im getting? so much for watching my expenditure >.<

argh lemme strike a windfall or something. $$ ka-ching issues suck.

heyo back again from sandy beach resort, danang, vietnam. omg im like so busy now on the computer, trying to constantly chat with 4 ppl on msn, while helping my sis out with some booking of her flight ticket due to some problems. omg im on a typing frenzy! there better not be any blackouts tonight!!

anyway gonna be a short post la, considering nth much happened today lol. a really perfect day to nuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. since the weather's so horrible >.< keep so cloudy and gloomy, then rainy. zzz. well anyway did absolutely NOTHING productive in the morning, went back to bungalow after breakfast and just slack in there, reading my book. finished 5 ppl u meet in heaven. it's a really really awsome read. made me think abt quite a few things... now i know why yongbiao say he read it like 5 times haha. seriously it's something u can't get tired of, and the lessons u learn in it is invaluable, in any part of ur life. somehow i just felt like i should treasure everything and everyone around me more, and this is probably one of the most important messages the book is trying to convey bah. on to for one more day now, another amazing read... shall comment more after i'm done with it haha (which most probably will be on the plane back to sg tml...) hmm went to the beach with dad and mum for a bit around noon, was just there to enjoy the waves lapping at ur feet, and sand under it. mom made some words from the seashells lying around, then i dunno why i suddenly had the urge to run all the way back to our bungalow and get my bro's camera, then run all the way back to take it haha. just a spur of the moment kinda urge. now i also don't really know why... i guess it's partially the magical effect the book had on me bah >.< anyway had quite a good time, though we didnt do much haha, mum picking seashells, dad walking around, me just staying near the seaside and enjoying the cool water hitting my feet. it's probably one of the few times i didnt mind the gloomy weather that much, as it was rather cooling and i didnt have to shun from the sun or smth. afternoon went back to hoi an to collect our tailormade clothes. whee have new formal pants for internship next yr lo! not half bad either, nice designs picked, good tailor quality = gd comfortable pants! lol. ok im so advertising for them. but sis had some problems though, cos she ordered a vietnamese traditional costume and there were some problems with the sleeves, then the collar. we had to keep the whole busload of ppl going back to sandy beach resort waiting! >.< haha hope they weren't too pissed off with us lol. then again, we were only 5 min late. but, alls well ended well. the tailor ppl sent over the final altered set, and my sis was satisfied with it, so yep, we got all our goods with a smiley *cue for loads of smiley faces* ok clothes aside, went to have lunch/dinner at hoi an again, at a different restaurant this time. bro tried the cao lau i had the other time, as it was a hoi an specialty. hmm differently done, but still as good. mum had chicken pho (lol we are all becoming pho- addicts i think, cos it's rather healthy and tasty too). dad had fried rice, while sis and i had fried rice + sweet and sour chicken. thankfully the sweet and sour chicken this time wasnt like ytd's fish, though done in a more tom yum manner, louis vuitton handbags with pineapples and tomatoes and chillis. again, not exactly what we were thinking, but still better than ytd's fish lol. and YESSSS, i ordered vietnamese coffee!! whee, finally go to drink it haha. really not bad sia, esp with the fresh milk. very, freshly brewed kinda taste lol. but too bad didnt get to brew it myself, it already came in the brewed coffee form with a small plate of sugar and a small pitcher of milk. still, yumyum. and another huge YESSSS to finally getting to eat banh mi! as in the real proper roadside one, with the subway style veggies/meats/sauces combo. and true to its word, it was really nice too! though quite spicy lol, i had to drink plenty of water after that lol. but i did feel quite happy after eating it, cos was really looking forward to it. cos saw quite a no. of stalls u know, but didnt get the chance to really go buy it due to circumstances. so now, even if im going to get a tummyache or wad after that, i dont care liao lol. im in bliss~~ (omg look at what food can turn me into. gg this is a bad bad sign.) so yup, pretty happy i got my vietnamese sub + vietnamese coffee wishes granted (seriously i can get so contented over just food >.<). now i can rest in peace. ok lol im kidding, that sounded so inauspicious. but, on a more serious note, the trip is coming to an end liao, it's my last night over here. flying back to sg tml morning... sigh, end of a fairytale dream. but ok la, did feel the closer family bonds that i used to constantly complain i didnt have, so for that i'm very very satisfied =) and did feel a lot more refreshed and ready to take on new challenges that await me after my return! all recharged and energisedd! shall spend some more quiet time tonight, and tml on the plane to think over some stuff, then i'll really be ready for the rest of the month, and a long year ahead of me in 2010. well, so i would say this trip ended on a pretty good note, with no regrets! guess i do have my fairytale ending :D well then, for the very last time, saying ciaoz from second-left most computer (i didnt get my favourite left most comp again >.<), lobby of sandy beach resort, danang, vietnam! cya peeps back in the hot sunny island of singapore! (though im pretty sure it's not exactly the case over there now =.=)

back live from sandy beach resort, danang, vietnam! lol, weather here's pretty bad today. raining whole day sia. if not of my undying determination to blog a post, i prob will be snuggling in the bungalow under my blanket, reading yongbiao's 5 people you meet in heaven. up till now, all i can say, it's a greaaaaaaaaaaaat read. shall rush back to finish it up after blogging, if my siblings haven't all go zzz yet lol.

wah i damn hip sia, now typing this in the resort lobby while listening to my mp3 lol. hope later i dont accidentally sing out some lyrics or start shaking my head to the music. lol im kidding im kidding. anyway as i'm typing this, i'm filled with dread, cos like abt less than 15 min ago, there was a massive blackout siaaa. in the main building at least, i dunno abt the bungalow area where my family is haha. scarrrrry. later everything i typed gone or the draft not saved i can go jump building liao lol. actually im not exactly really surprised at the blackout lol, considering how much stuff they leave on 24hr! these computers for instance. i mean ya la, it's ok to leave the comp overnight, i do that real often. but imagine leaving it on say, for 1 mth? omg la. haha. dont forget tons of other lights in the lobby, as well as the bling bling decoration lights they have outside the resort on all the trees. i dunno is for xmas and new year, or whole yr round one lol.

ok enough abt the lights lol. on to today's itinery. well today was quite ok la, but the rain was quite a spoiler. left the resort with quite a lot of anticipation, cos we had this car all to ourselves, with a driver who can speak minimal english. so it's like a mini one-day roadtrip kinda thing. quite cool. then the tour was expected to last abt 11 hrs, so i was like, "wow, must be a lot of things to see!" only to find out the reason behind the tour taking 11hrs is cos the first destination is a 2.5 hrs drive away. omg. >.< but ok la, along the way, just zzz loh, since had to wake up early for this trip anyway. the driver not bad haha, actually stopped by some mountainside road for us to take rather nice pictures of the mountains and the seashores. quite a magnificent sight, albeit quite cloudy, thus blocking quite a bit of everything =(. then continued the loooooooooooong trip to this pagoda. ok sorry abt not being able to name anything haha, cos vietnamese is sooooo hard to remember how to pronounce. but in any case, today's trip is more of sightseeing and taking random pictures with nice ancient ruins and scenery, while totally not knowing anything abt it lol. cos my bro, when ordering for the tour, forgot abt the tour guide! haha. might as well la, considering we'll probably not understand half of what the tour guide will be saying anyway, and we're not exactly that keen on finding out everything behind those places we went. it's just, a little weird la, going for a whole day to these 3 different places, but ending up not knowing anything abt them haha. the only things we can remember from them are probably where are the nice places to take photos rofl. ok that sounded slightly bimbotic. after the pagoda, with this giant bell (nice photo spot), and this giant tortoise carrying some tablet (also not bad photo spot), i roughly gathered it's some spot for praying to deities one la, since got quite a few sculptures and stuff. anyway, went to the citadel of hue after that (ah i know the name for this, cos it's like the highlight of the trip. it looked quite magnificent from outside too, with a loooooooooooooooooooooooooong talllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll wall, and a big vietnamese flag high up waving in the wind. it's really quite impressive. from the outside that is. after going in, hmm, kinda disappointing loh. ok la, partly also cos we were kinda lazy to walk everything (it was so frigging big), we only went abt 40% of it before we got bored of it. well mainly, it's the ruins of some ancient castle, so got like all the imperial style architecture and artifacts. prob is, most of them are so destroyed there's only stone ruins with overgrowing weeds (which isnt too bad for photos, but totally has no link to the main aim which is to understand the history of the civillisation loh), or they are under massive reconstruction (like repainting, even probably rebuilding the walls and furniture) so much so that they now look so fake. then wad's the point loh, louis vuitton handbags if they are oh-so-nice-and-pristine, but totally cannot exemplify the actual history of the citidel. ok la, overall got the effect of its majestic feel, from its sheer size (it's really damn biggggg), the moat that surrounded the WHOLE castle wall (that's seriously damn long i can tell u), all the castle doors (there's this wu3 men2, which supposedly is the place being portrayed in all those ancient chinese drama serials the place where people get executed - wu3 men2 zhan3 shou3), and all the backyard gardens (lol i'm so directly translating - hou4 hua1 yuan2), which are probably the only places worth taking, cos the plants still look rather overgrown, and not so bad that the photo will turn out bad. so u get ur photogenic yet authentic moments with them lol. but if u're going for the details, then really nth much loh. cos either authentic ruins that have eroded and corroded until nth left, or super nice and pristine artifacts and palace rooms that have obviously been tampered with to get, which then totally loses its purpose. as what my bro said, liddat might as well go take photos in the chinese garden, why bother going all the way there to take photos like those. omg it just blackouted again. thank god for draft saving functions. if not i really need to go jump building liao >.< whewwww. ok i better type faster being it happens again =.= ok moving on, went for lunch at some restaurant which didnt really suit my appetite, mebbe i'm not that used to vietnamese dishes with rice. those noodle dishes and fried rice and appetitisers taste good, but their dishes with rice, like sweet and sour fish, is totally nth like what we were expecting lol. so was the salty braised pork and chicken with mushroom (in fact i hardly saw any chicken in it. nor mushrooms for that matter lol.) anyway after lunch it began to pour again (wad a suay suay day zzz). stopped at the last stop, some tomb of some vietnamese king or prince or smth (sorry la, no tour guide is liddat one, totally dunno what's going on haha). all i know is the crypt/tomb part was super nice la, first time i see not all golden and shiny, but in actual fact made from ceramic shards, which gives it an actually really good jewel feel, from the colourful and shiny reflections from the ceramic shards. the artist/sculptor was really zai too, knowing how to combine the different coloured ceramic shards to form different shapes, like bonsais, animals, and chinese characters. OMG it blackouted AGAIN. this is proving to be one of the hardest blog posts i ever typed. i better hurry hurry. yup too bad photos not out yet, if not i'm really quite impressed, cos from far it looks really really good, the up close u notice actually there are like pieces from those broken plates and bowls u have at home. ceramic and porcelain-y. oh yeah, had a taste of french bread here finally. but mebbe cos of the vague meaning of the vietnamese word for the subway sub-like thing i was looking for (banh mi), the driver brought us to some bakery to get french pastries. hmm they weren't too bad la, and cheap somemore. just that i was more looking forward to what i was looking for >.< hope i get to eat it tml! as for vietnamese coffee... hmm, i probably wont get the chance to taste in here in danang le i think. probably more common in hanoi or ho chi minh. still, i'm hoping! haha.

tml's gonna be a quite relaxed day i think. still dunno what to do in the morning yet, but afternoon definitely heading over to hoi an to collect our new tailor made clothes (pants for me), and im waiting for my banh mi! lol omg i just realised that the only vietnamese words i know are all food, like pho, com, com ga, com chien, and banh mi lol. that's not a good sign lol. but i can't avoid it anyway, i know it liao. i'm so getting fatterrrrrrr on this trip. ggfied man lol. keep eating non-stop sia.

whew finally come to the end of today. better send this before it blackout again lol. signing off from the 2nd computer from the left, lobby of sandy beach resort, danang, vietnam (didnt get my leftmost one cos some guy was using, but he left after the first blackout. hah, looks like i got the most determination here man! lol)!

lol random post from sandy beach resort, danang, vietnam! ok la, im just randomly having the urge to blog cos of my forced-cut-short post before i left sg on mon due to oversleeping >.< hope that i wont get too fed up trying to type on this keyboard which i'm not exactly very familiar with.. now that i'm more free, i think it should be good that i do more updating of my blog. it seriously needs a new face le, just that i'm ultra lazy to go find a new blogskin lol. anyway, the first 2 days here at danang have been not too bad. the resort's pretty cosy, we got upgraded to adjoining bungalows close to the sea, so have nice cooling sea breezes, food's quite alright, and having a 11hr long full day tour awaiting tml haha. went to danang city han market today, quite typical of any market, with first floor fresh and dried produce, and the second floor with shoes bags clothes and all the whatnot. interesting slice of life in vietnam la, i would say. too bad i didnt bring my camera, but hope my siblings and my dad did capture some images of the place though. seldom get to see the rows and rows of flower and fruit stalls. bought some jambu and dragonfruits. big and really sweet! haha. apart from the freakout incident when the first jambu my bro bit into, he inspected a worm slowly climbing out of the fruit. what's worse, he showed it to me, which caused me a phobia of every bite of jambu i ate after that >.< afternoon went to hoi an ancient town, didnt really get to see much la haha, went to tailor make formal pants to prep for work next year though. not cheap leh here, but probably because we went to a rather renowned shop. it had like 2 storeys and loads of sales assistants and stuff. the variety of cloth just for men (which are all in shades of black, navy, grey, brown) is astounding enough le, wait till u head over to the women's side where they offer cloth to make vietnamese traditional dresses. it's o-m-g. lol. after that took SUPER long before we found some decent restaurant to have our late lunch cum early dinner. mum, bro and sis had pho (not too bad haha), i had cao lau (some dried noodle thingy), dad had some chinese rice. louis vuitton handbags shared vietnamese fried spring rolls (those transparent rice paper wrapping kind) and shrimp on sugarcane. quite an interesting variety of rather authentic vietnamese food la haha, i would say. now im just waiting to try the vietnamese style sub! saw a couple of stalls, but when i really wanted to go buy and try out after the meal, all just suddenly vanish into thin air >.< what a disappointment. i hope i get to try it before we leave loh! and vietnamese coffee, loads of ppl telling me it's gd. well, see fate lol, see if i get to try these 2 things out over here.. looking forward to tml's day tour. though i think it'll be rather tiring loh, leaving here at 8am and coming back abt 11 hrs later. omigosh. prob need to turn in early tonight lol. hmm that's all i have for today i think, shall go fb a bit then better get off liao. im advised to use the comp for a max of 30min but im prob going to hog it like for 2 hrs lol. but aiya, no one using anyway, all making use of the free wi-fi here, which i'm like soooooo envious of ppl with laptops or PHONES THAT CAN ACCESS INTERNET right now. this is so motivating me to get my 7-11 bought 98 buck non-camera ns army phone out of the way and introduce something iphoney or blackberry-y. but sigh, the fact is i dont have it, so i'll have to make do with hogging the lobby computers for 2 hrs at one go lol. no privacy lehhhh. while my bro and sis can so totally lie on their beds in the aircon bungalow >.< enjoying eh. okok no use getting envious. my time will come =D

k la, signing off now, back again on leftmost computer (closest to alamanda restaurant), lobby of sandy beach resort, danang, vietnam tml!